So this last Friday, all (at least the majority) of my 13-year-old dreams came true. Put yourself into the shoes of a girl in the year 2002. Then put that girl in the front row of a stage with Lance Bass, Aaron Carter, and Ryan Cabrera on it. (And O-Town and Tyler Hinton, but eh). So now you’re probably thinking what I’m thinking. It’s essentially the equivalence of a Viagra. And yes, my erection definitely lasted more than four hours.
My sister and I paid an insane fucking amount for Ubers to go to Naperville’s Last Fling for the Pop 2000 tour. We also paid for the VIP package because that’s what you do when the price to pay for a full course meal, unlimited booze, and access to the front of the stage is a measly $100.
We waited in line and got a plate of food as soon as we walked in, only for FEMA to decide that a storm was coming and the park needed to be closed. FEMA literally cares that much about O-Town fans, guys. It wasn’t even raining, but everyone was escorted out with a promise of opening the park as soon as the government allowed. Thank god we immediately ran to the food. We sat outside the gates under a small roof for about 45 minutes with as many NSYNC t-shirt wearing grown women as would fit before they finally hinted we can probably get back in line. They opened the gates to heaven, and we sprinted to the drinks before double-fisting our way to the exclusive stage area.
When a dude came out adjusting the microphone in front and I realized Lance Bass was going to be that close to my face is probably when I first got hard. Tyler Hilton came first, and I honestly have no idea who he is. I guess now I do, but we used to time to re-fill drinks and pee. When he was done, Lance, Lance Bass, former member of NSYNC and the man I truly believed I would end up with until he decided he prefers penis, came on the stage. Few points: 1. He has not aged. 2. He’s genuinely incredible looking. 3. He’s a lot funnier and more personable than I expected. Looking back, I realized I wasn’t fully breathing. I also only remember what he said because I recorded it. The whole thing was mesmerizing. He then introduced Ryan Cabrera, who we had both seen and met a number of times, but it was still sweet. Pretty sure he was a little under the influence because he’s usually not as engaging with the crowd as he was that night. Also hasn’t aged, also a babe, and his guitar was sick. Lance came back on and introduced Aaron Carter. The erection is now starting to hurt. Few Aaron points: 1. He’s actually super talented – writes and produces his own music because he wasn’t on a label for a while. 2. He could maybe use a burger or two, but holy sexy. 3. He first sang a remix of “I Want Candy”, and I think everyone in the crowd died a little bit. 4. His new album (go download it!) is fucking incredible. Lance came back, introduced O-Town, and we stayed for a minute to take a picture because you weren’t really there if you can’t post it, right? We dipped out, got some dranks, and had a sleepover. The end 🙂
