I realized I have so many thoughts driving and Siri sucks at translating.. So by the time I sit down to write this, most of the
good stuff is gone. Which I guess is better or I’d be writing every hour.
Anyways. Traffic. It’s a thing everywhere, but in Chicago, it’s a thing all day. And night. There’s no “rush hour”. It’s literally just fucking “driving”. I left my house this morning at 4 am. So early that the express lanes aren’t even open. There’s 9 cars total on the road, which is lovely, but what happens in the middle of the night? Umm.. the construction men have to work. They obviously can’t do it at 4 pm so fine.. I get it. But they need room to do their shit. So the 4-5 lane highway.. becomes one lane. Which backs up those 9 cars I just saw.. and they turn into 900 cars with 32 detours and people trying to back up and make turns in unnatural ways. So the drive that should have been under an hour without traffic.. was definitely not.
I’ve talked enough about my parents and brought up my sister a lot because she’s my bff.. but I haven’t mentioned my brother as much.. which is weird because I am so obsessed with that child. Except he turned 18 a little ago and just graduated high school.. so I guess not really a child. I had a dream last night that he was 5 and had a winter play or something at school. Other than him being 5, everything else was constant.. I was this age and had to request off from this job and all that. Which makes me think I’m probably having a much harder time with him growing up than my parents are. He’s not sure what he’s doing with his future, which makes sense when you’re 18, but it’s also horrifying me to think about him not becoming happy and successful. He’s not much into school, but he’s such a smart kid. I remember when he told me he’d gone to a party but offered to be DD because he didn’t feel like drinking that night. How many 18 year old boys decide they “just don’t feel like drinking?” Is that even real? I’m 28 and in the last 14 years, I think there’s been a total of 10 times that I’ve maybe “felt like not drinking” on a weekend. Or even a weekday. He hasn’t turned to drugs and wraps up his dick. Or so I hope or then he’s fucking got it coming. No pun intended. God, I really hope my mother doesn’t get that comment. He’s also such a sweetheart. He acts like he hates my hugs, but he’s also willing to spend time with his big sisters and I adore him for that.
Finally, my parents just sold our home. I haven’t lived there full time in years, but everyone’s got “their parent’s house”. Again, they’re acting fine. Well, I think my dad’s actually slightly upset cause he’s all about that yard and garden. My brother’s fine. My sister is the only other one who has feelings about it. It sucks. It was such a cute house, and the memories are endless. They got an adorable condo that I’m sure will become the new home, but it’s not the same. Thank fucking god they have a patio or my father would hang himself without being able to grill. We might have ALL hung ourselves. But it still sucks and I feel like it’s definitely adding to how fucking shitting my mood’s been.
P.S. I started a liver cleanse today because I’m hoping to drop a few extra pounds before I have to wear a bikini on the beachhhhh. Also, with the amount of drugs and alcohol I take in, I’m sure it could have used a cleanse every month since I was 16. Stay tuned to hear all about my poops.