Bitch on train: Omg I haven’t seen a water bottle in so long!
Me: *confusingly points to the guy next to me.. drinking water* isn’t that a water bottle?
Bitch: Oh no, that’s a Yeti.. they’re better because you’re not using all that plastic.
Me: Is the clear shit holding your Starbucks drink not plastic?
Bitch: You don’t have to be rude.
This actually happened this morning. This “going green” shit is getting a little ridiculous. I get recycling and reusing bags.. but I’m not gonna go to great lengths to recycle something the size of a receipt. And maybe I don’t wanna fucking carry around a “Yeti” everywhere I go. When I’m done with my water, I don’t need an empty, leaking container in my bag for 4 hours. And I’m not gonna collapse on the spot if I happen to drop it into a regular trash bin, either.
Here’s the other thing.. 14 year olds are putting in about the same amount of effort to get ready for school as I did when I was going to the club. Aside from the shorts that are covering as much as my underwear does, you’re wearing more makeup at 6:30 am than I’m gonna wear all of the next month. And the curled prom-like hair. I literally can’t begin to even. If I can’t force myself to bathe before I have to go testify at a hearing for work, HOW in the mother fuck do you look like an attempt at a Kardashian before the rooster crows.. and more importantly, why do 12 year olds paint on their eyebrows better than I ever will?
I guess I’ll keep going. Since there’s a pretty distinct anger tone in this post, let’s bring murder into the mix. A little bit ago, I began my Blue Bloods withdrawal symptoms (see prior post) and needed to find something to keep me going. Enter: How to Get Away with Murder. Talk about a mind fuckkkkk. This show is so fucking messed up that it makes what happens in my head normal. I’m on Season 4 – which is, coincidentally, also the last season on Netflix. So in about two days, I’m gonna find myself in that same predicament. But anyways. You’d think after 4 seasons it would slow down a bit and die down with the story. No. This bitch still got all these fuckers just going in circles. It’s incredible. And really makes me upset I didn’t go to law school. Grandpa called it. I shoulda listened.